If you thinking finding the perfect man (yeah right I hear you say!) is like finding a needle in a haystack.... then your right.  The problem is the needle is small and the haystack is very big.

The hollywood idea of finding Mr Right is about as likely as winning the lottery... Your just not going to drop your (full) shopping bags one day and there he is, lost in your eyes, as he picks up your bags and offers to carry them to the car for you.  But if you do nothing about it then it's just as unlikely to happen too.

In a recent survey by Dating Direct revealed that 80% of women are not expecting the man to make the first move anymore.  As they say 'Same game, new rules'.  There are at least 16 million singles in the UK and finding them has never been easier with internet dating being widely accepted.  We find most things via the internet so why not love?

It's not as crazy as it sounds anymore.  Women these days lead much busier lives and finding the time to meet Mr Right Now, let alone Mr Right gets harder and harder. 

Internet dating enables you to browse through thousands of possible matches from the safety and comfort of your home.  You can read all about a person and get to know them in a safe and monitored environment without revealing any personal details until you are ready. 

Personally we would use subscription based services (like those on the right) as you are more likely to find other serious people rather than free sites that anyone can join.

There isn't the pressure of 'going on the pull' and as your not normally drunk whilst looking at potential partners, your judgement is not affected in anyway - therefore saving potential embarrassing moments. 

So what are you waiting for, find love in 2 easy steps.

  1.  Find a man you like and get along with

  2.  Choose your outfit for the all important first date

We can't choose your man for you but we can make sure you look your best for the first date.  It's a known fact that we (both men and women) instantly make a snap decision on a potential mate within 30 seconds of first meeting them. 

It's not that we decide a YES, more that we decide a NO; based on how they look and how they smell.  So if you don't get past the first minute of the date successfully, then it doesn't really matter what you say or what you do as the decision has already been made.

To help you create that wow factor we've selected some items that will certainly get you through the first minute (and some that will ensure you have him eating out of your hand for the entire night -should things go very well!).... the rest is then up to you.

Good luck and we hope you find love in 2008! and don't forget to send your dating stories to dating@knowmysize.co.uk so we can share them.

So what is all the fuss about online dating.  Friends will probably tell you it's both wonderful and terrible, depending on their experiences or scare stories they have heard.  So for an honest and impartial take on online dating please read on...

What makes online love different?

Finding love online is different to offline love because you do not have the same limitations as you do in the real world.  Online daing is always on, always available; you can find love at 3pm or 3am.

Instead of a few people in a pub, there are thousands of people just waiting to talk to you.  Because the web is anonymous you can be yourself without losing your sense of safety because you are in control of your actions and to a certain extent those of others.  If the conversation is not going how you want it to then you can just block (stop them from contacting you further) them or if need be report them (most decent online dating sites have an abuse reporting procedure).

Because there is this controllable barrier between you, you can be more honest than perhaps you would in real life as you may never meet the person your talking to.  But there is a flipside to this, the person you are talking to may not be as honest as you.  So you have to bear in mind that most people are going to put their best foot forward.

Online relationships can happen very quickly as you can relax and open up as you don't have those shy or nervous face-to-face issues when your talking through a computer.  You can be talking intimate details with someone you've only just met that you would never do in real life.

You also have to be careful not to get caught up in the moment.  If you have no-one in your life and you long for company and can be very easy to be taken in by what you think is the 'perfect person'.  After all you only have the good and none of the real life pressures yet!

Safety comes first

Be careful not to reveal personal details, like your phone number or address until you are very sure of the person that you are talking to.  Keep personal details off your public profile (most decent dating sites allow you to have personal areas on your profile that you can choose to share - like if you are a single mum and have children).  You learn quite quickly how to tell good from bad.  For example, is he only ever online at certain times - normally a sign of someone that already has a girlfriend or wife.  Sound too good to be true?  - Trust your instincts!

Be open in your early conversations but not too revealling.  If you have kids ensure you mention it before you meet as this can be quite a stumbling block for some people.  But do not give out full names or school details - always remember you don't really know the person yet. 

Ensure you have both exchanged a few pictures - best to see if there is an attraction before you meet.  A good idea is to get the other person to take a photograph holding a newspaper - that way you know its a recent picture and not one thats 10 years old.

Make sure you have a couple of proper telephone conversations, it's amazing how easy it is to be someone else safely behind a computer but you can tell a lot from a real time two-way conversation.  Is the person being evasive?  They could be in a relationship, or they could be ending one in which case they should be honest about it and so should you if your in the same situation.

With all these hurdles successfully passed and If you still really connect with that person then it's time for the first date.

The first date

OK this is it... it is time to meet, you MUST make safety your primary concern. 

Arrange to meet in a public place during a busy period and tell at least one good friend where you are going, who you are meeting and what time.  It's advisable to have an exit strategy just incase things are not going well.  Have a trusted friend ring you 30-40 minutes into the date.  This gives you an escape route should you need one.

Don't feel pressurised into meeting too early... the right person will respect your wishes and wait.  Although don't expect someone to keep waiting, you have to take the step at some point and if you leave it too long you will build up a fantasy that no-one will be able to fill in real life.

Keep your first meeting short, daytime meetings are best because there is less pressure.  Evening dates are generally expected to last longer and can be more difficult to escape if it's not what you want.

An important point to bear in mind is things can feel fantastic with all the attention online but you don't actually know until you meet.  People often talk about a 'spark' or lackof.  It really depends on the person but most people will no if it's not there.  Nerves can get in the way on a first date so if you are unsure then a second date will usually confirm whether you want to persue it futher or not.

Don't forget that as much as you can change your mind when you actually meet, so can he.  So don't get disappointed if he doesn't feel a spark or connection to you either.  Just chalk up the experience points and remember there are thousands of like minded people out there just waiting to meet you.  We wish you the best of luck!

We would love to hear your stories, both good and bad.  Maybe it went terribly wrong, you had a real funny or original date or maybe you ended up married.